Broken Dreams

As I am job searching yet again
For the fourth summer in a row
After college graduation
Mom, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry

You escaped the war
Moved to a foreign land
All because you dreamed of a better life for us
And what do I do?

I went to college and had dreams of social justice
How dare I dream of making this world better,
When I can't even make your life better?
Why couldn't I have just gotten a business degree?

Sorry I couldn't buy you that new house in the suburb
Sorry I couldn't buy you that fancy car
Sorry I couldn't get you all the things you deserved
Sorry I couldn't live out the dreams that you had for me
The saddest thing is that
I can't even express my sorrows
In a language that you could understand

You've never faulted me for who I've become
And I just wanted you to know that I am who I am
Because of your good teachings
Luckily you have two other sons who will live out your dreams

And although, I don't follow your Buddhist ways
I really hope that reincarnation does exist
So that I could be your son again in the next lifetime
And every lifetime after that
Maybe then,
I'd be able to do more for you
Than I am able to do in this lifetime
Maybe I could make your dreams come true
Maybe I'll be able to give you all the good things that you never asked for