This cake is tree-shaped, so authentic
squirrels will scamper up it! Woodpeckers
will plunge their beaks into its frosted trunk!
The tree-cake even grows caramel apples--
but if you eat them, they don't grow back.
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This cake is a calming blue-green ocean.
It will buoy your spirits with gently rolling
swells of gelatin and negative ions. It emits
a white noise that no spousal whining
or even screaming fights can contend with.
*
This Cake is built to the exact specifications
of Noah's Ark. This Cake includes cubit
upon cubit of barnyard fun: candied yaks,
peanut-butter workhorses, chubby white
sheep & goats in cream cheese. Two (2) each.
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This cake is a cross-section of your head.
We use top-notch magnetic resonance technology
to image your thoughts & re-create them exactly
in marble cake with chocolate-truffle filling.
Bet you didn't know regrets could be this delicious!
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