Friday, December 18, 2009

Identity crisis of EPIC proportions PART DEUX

The thoughts drift in

You're too ugly
You're not thin enough
You're being absurd
I'm not creative enough
I don't have enough experience
I am wasteful
I am a waste
I could have done that so much better

I don't deserve the respect of a teacher
I'm not a teacher
Why would I want to be a teacher?
I can barely speak
I'm too smart for this
But I can't show it
I'm working daycare
No one wants to hire me
I'm not shooting high enough

My parents wouldn't approve
It's not what I really want
I don't know what I really want
I can't concentrate on anything
I need to leave
I need to stay
I need to prove myself
I've already proven myself
But why won't anyone notice?

Don't listen to me
I don't know what I'm talking about
I can't even dress myself
Look awful
Feel awful
Black cloud
Foggy
Don't look at me
Please help me

Why aren't you taking care of yourself?
There is no time
No time at all
I want to prove myself
I need to show them what I'm made of
I am jello
I am nothing
I want to help
I want help

Everything I know is wrong
Is it?
What if I fail again?
I can't fail again
I just can't
Shut up and get over yourself
Stupid

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