Playing with words, a relationship story

It’s not you; it’s me
I’m the one
That needs the work
Forgive me
I shall be myself in a few days

Climbing
Shouting
Anxiety
Bills
Cream

It’s all about the cream
That Damn cream
Everything doesn’t have to be about the whipped cream
Or does it?
Why can’t I have a normal life?

Waiting in line
For an oil change
Came across a little café
We were hungry
So we thought we would grab some lunch

I’ll have a salami sandwich on rye
He’ll have a bowl of your soup du jour
Why are you ordering for him miss?
I don’t know
Habit I guess

He would also like
Your crème burlee
With extra whipped cream
I do?
You always want the whipped cream

I do not
You do too
Can I just order my own damn meal?
You don’t love me anymore
You used to always let me take care of you

There were no kids
Just the car
That was broken
And the salami sandwich and soup du jour
And that whipped cream

Creamy chowder with biscuits
And tomato enchiladas with cheese
You should watch your cholesterol intake
I want you to be around with me until I die
Who says I wouldn’t?

Your diet says you wouldn’t
Says who?
Cheese? Whipped Cream?
You’re the one who ordered the whipped cream!
I was just trying to please you!

Can I get you anything else?
A beer?
A glass of wine?
Oh we don’t drink here
Says who?

I would like a drink
I would like a whiskey
The hard stuff
It’s the only way I’m going to tolerate
The rest of the afternoon

And the bill
For the car
God I don’t want to know how much that
Bill
Will be

Love you

Always and forever,

Sandra

I am

I am 

a lover and a dreamer.

I wonder just how much I have in me
to give to the world

I hear laughter in the rain

I see a shining brilliance in every hand

offered to another

I want to find a peacefulness for which

I don’t yet know how to look

I am a lover 
(and a dreamer).

I pretend I am not made of glass when 

I feel like I may shatter

I feel the pulse of the earth under my feet

And I touch the heartbreaking blue limits of the sky

I worry that love can’t be enough 

to solve all the problems in this world

I cry knowing there are children going to sleep tonight 

without hope

I am (a lover and) a 
dreamer.

I understand we are all here for a reason, and

I say that those reasons are defined 

by the shining truths in 

us

I dream the dreams I dreamt as a child, and

I try to remember those dreams mean 

EVERYTHING

I hope this isn’t all in vain

I am a lover and a dreamer.

Wordle fun: Put the link of the blog into wordle and this is what I came up with

...i am a poem in progress...

...with no clear beginning
or ending
just a middle
untended
unintended
unfinished
hanging there
like the breath before a question

i am
fairly certain you find me strange
as i speak to you
of the future
when the present is unresolved
enough
but i need an ending
this convoluted limbo
with invisible bookends
... a poem without a name...
is stifling
like the clench of a gut
before an undesired answer

in the space
between two bookends
time passes
with the highest and lowest times
tucked untidily
untended
unfinished
into the frame of a few stanzas
a short story at most
who'd have thought i'd identify
with women writers i've admired
for their wisdom, but also
pitied
for their sorrows
all the same
the stubborn poet in me
who wouldn't trade this for anything--
that says something
i hope

i
hope

i am
a poem in progress
and i'm not sure where i'll end...

This has been around for awhile, but I just recently listened to the full speech. Neil Gaiman is one of my favorite writers ever, and this resonates. Especially lately. And not just with me.

Enjoy. 

Make fantastic mistakes. 

Make good art.

Full speech transcript and video also available on the UArts site:
Neil Gaiman's 2012 UArts Keynote Address 

~Jen

Four Easy Payments

This cake is tree-shaped, so authentic
squirrels will scamper up it! Woodpeckers
will plunge their beaks into its frosted trunk!
The tree-cake even grows caramel apples--
but if you eat them, they don't grow back.

*
This cake is a calming blue-green ocean.
It will buoy your spirits with gently rolling
swells of gelatin and negative ions. It emits
a white noise that no spousal whining
or even screaming fights can contend with.

*
This Cake is built to the exact specifications
of Noah's Ark. This Cake includes cubit
upon cubit of barnyard fun: candied yaks,
peanut-butter workhorses, chubby white
sheep & goats in cream cheese. Two (2) each.

*
This cake is a cross-section of your head.
We use top-notch magnetic resonance technology
to image your thoughts & re-create them exactly
in marble cake with chocolate-truffle filling.
Bet you didn't know regrets could be this delicious!

Hey, at least I'm writing!

She speaks honestly and from the heart

"I have my own thoughts."

Well, as long as you keep the hurtful ones to yourself and only say those that will help someone in their growth process. What the hell am I saying.

Transitions are hard.
Change is tough.
I'm not going home for Christmas.
I just want peace and quiet
I can't take all the yelling.

Just let it roll off.

Dude, I don't get paid nearly enough for this.

I am worth more than this.
Is this what my life has amounted to?

A steady stream of babbled gibberish on continuous instant replay.
I'm pretty sure I'm doomed to have a baby with developmental disabilities for the shit I've been talking.

I feel

crazy
exhausted
like my head is spinning
confused
like I just flushed my head down the toilet
the love
all around me
despite
the madness

I hold on to

the pen in my hand
that allows me to maintain
some shred of dignity
with my
compulsive notion to scrawl everything down as
it happens
It's a control thing

Pieces

Night soaks into the corners of her room
The pillowcase soaks in the brunt of her tears
Left alone with her thoughts
she breaks into tiny pieces
No crime has been committed
but still, she is devoured by the wracking guilt
felt by an accidental murderer
Under a different set of circumstances
she could have kept you
In a different context
there would be no regret, but joy
In a different time
she could have helped create a new
kind of life
Tonight, there are only pieces
and no one to reassemble them
No one to fix what has been broken
to save what has been lost.

I am from

I am from "Oy vey" and "toughen up"

Magnolia trees I can climb higher than you 

bike races and 

when we got older how long did you exercise today? 

 

Productivity 

are you doing something productive? 

I am from Irish Canadian Russian Jew 

I am timid 

Almost afraid of new situations 

I feel that lifelong learning is very important.