nuns, friars, veggies

Friar Stephen climbed the hill to the nunnery
With a basket of veggies in hand
For he'd lately heard his dear sisters
Complaining of meals that were bland

Sister Catherine, when seeing his bounty
Brought her hands to her cheeks and she said
"Dear brother, I truly must ask you
How you grow tomatoes so rich and so red!"

Said he, "Dear sister, I go out each morning
So early that the birds even hush
And I lift my robes in front of my garden
And these tomatoes are so proper, they blush!"

Some weeks later, Sister Catherine herself
Travelled down to the valley below
To bring a thank you gift to her brothers
For helping their vegetables to grow

Friar Stephen greeted her, asking,
"Dear sister, are your tomatoes much redder?"
Said she, "Dear brother, they haven't changed much
But our cucumbers have never looked better!"

What's for Dinner Farmer Jim?

Homegrown vegetables are healthy and good,

I would eat them every day out of your garden if I could.

Steamed, sautéed, or thrown in a stew,

Raw is my preference when eating with you.

If I get hungry I know where to turn,

Saliva trickles and tastebuds yearn.

For your succulent harvest,

For the most ripe of your goods.

You labor so diligently and I accept your request

To expend all of my efforts in devouring your best.

Before we enjoy the delicious main course,

Calories must be spent with just the right amount of force.

Turn on some music, grab some wine and relax,

With me in the kitchen you’ll never go back.

I will…

Peel your carrot

Marinate your summer squash

Shuck your corn

Choke your artichoke

Stalk your celery

Deep-fry your eggplant

Toss your salad

Braise your zucchini

Roast your peppers

Salt your cucumber

This five course meal just wouldn’t be complete,

Without a climax of something unique, perfect, and sweet.

Dessert will be had in style and warmth,

When peaches and bananas simmer together at last,

A luscious combination that’s sure to go fast.

A plump, juicy cherry is a luxurious treat,

I’ll give you mine now, if you promise to meet

Me tomorrow for another round

Of vegetable worship, I’ll give you the crown!

So come when you’re ready,

And say it loud if you must.

We’ll feast on the Earth’s bounty

It’s in her that we trust.

skin

Your breath 

tickled

the bare

sensitive

 

skin

right there--no...

there...

underneath

skin

no one sees

except at awkward angles

skin

unkissed 

by the sun

Your fingers

teased

tweaked

and the warmth

flooded

convulsed

broke free

i'm the only girl i know

who has

ticklish

(elbows)

i love the smell of rubber in the morning

i love the smell of rubber in the morning and
the exhausted groan of a satisfied machine

pushing with pistons its apparatus
into a mold, romancing the container

the vessel

the craft that carries the thing
into existence.

air hisses from hoses, begging its release,
its purge of the dirty

dirty canisters that smear flesh-- it is air
blasted clean by the power

of its own thrust.

they sound the alarm when the stench
and the sweat of their twisted bodies

hovers above them. they come
out of the dark, through the shaftway 

back into the part of the world 
where the sun shines,


to smoke cigarettes.

Damn that hindsight--it's always 20/20

In retrospect
It wasn't such a great idea
To make snakes out of balloons

It was harmless
I promise

Provided hours of entertainment
For unknowing children ages 6-8

Little did they know
What the final product
Would look like

(No, it didn't get better after painting.)




And the laughter in the staff room
Hours, days, months
Later

They say I'm no good at sexual innuendo
But I've cracked
A "That's what she said"
A few nice times
Before "That's what she said"
Was hip
Before Micheal Scott



No, not one of my finer moments
As an art educator
And creative leader
Of small children

It was messy
Oh damn!
I've done it again
Spot the sexual innuendo there



So yes, there is a lesson in here somewhere
I've never attempted snakes
Again
In my project forays

Stuck to safe subjects
Like faces
With balloons
Anyone?

I am a horrible person.


An add on--I'm on fire tonight!

Don't stop now!
You're on fire
Tonight
Little did we know
The balloons, er, subjects...er
Whatever...

Were WAY too big
Too rough
Not the right size
Not the right shape
ALL WRONG

It won't fit
If only we would have gotten the
Expensive balloons
The longer ones

What went wrong?
Glue makes the stuff
Less slippery
And more slippery

Is that what you want?
I don't know what I want
I'm just the INTERN!

I bet you are learning a lot
At the CHILDREN'S MUSEUM.
OH YES.
OH YES.
YES.

Can I come back next year?

New Month, New Theme

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. The new month brings the new theme of...you guessed it, SEXUAL INNUENDO. I wouldn't have chosen it myself, but I guess that's beside the point. Something about this month being the month of love or something. Love? Sex? What's that? Unfamiliar and rather, if I might add, uncomfortable territory for this contributor to TPFTP, but I shall keep an open mind. I've always called February "because my life would suck without you" month and I have always recognized those that have given me what I have today. I don't think think of sex when I think of love and appreciation in that view, but I suppose it is time to branch out. For me, and for readers and writers of poetry alike. Get wraunchy! Get down, and get dirty! Ready, set, write horrible, sexual-innuendo laden poetry. And do it now.

metaphors be with you

be always wary of metaphors

they can destroy your life

say he is wine and all others water

enough time in his presence

why, you're drunk.

be always wary of metaphors

they're viruses that carry your undoing

chose orange juice instead of both water and wine

(unless you met him at brunch.

then you're screwed)

(TRIUMPHANT RETURN!)